40 things I want tell my younger self

And will take with me in the coming years.

Yesterday I turned 39 years old, which means I’ve entered my 40th year in life. Here are 40 small and big things I wish I could tell my younger self.

1. Criticism often has nothing to do with you. Don’t assume it has something to do with you; it often has something to do with the insecurities of the person saying it.

2. Get rid of things you haven’t used or missed in a year. Bring them to good will or ask friends if it’s useful to them.

3. Time is the most valuable currency. Spend it wisely.

4. Invest in a good mattress. On average, you spend 26 years of your life in bed. Your back will thank you later.

5. Surround yourself with people who care for you and support you. Let go of people who treat you like shit.

6. Always keep a gift box of chocolates in the house. It might come in handy when you want to treat someone.

7. Pay attention when you get goosebumps or get emotional. Those are the moments that really matter, and they tell you where you need to go.

8. If you’re reading a book that you don’t love, stop reading. Life’s too short to read books you don’t enjoy.

9. Friends will come and go, and that’s okay. Everyone in your life is there for a reason, and sometimes there’s no reason left for them to be there.

10. Your parents are just regular humans who make mistakes. Don’t take everything they say to heart, and make your own way.

11. Don’t change who you are in order to be liked by others. You will lose yourself in the process.

12. Take a walk outside every day. It clears your head and is good for your body.

13. Not everything is your fault. Sometimes others are to blame.

14. It’s not your responsibility to fix everything.

15. Never work without a signed contract. It saves you a lot of discussion and frustration. Get everything out on paper.

16. Take all the time you need.

17. Do something nice for ‘future you’ on a daily basis. Like cleaning your desk or making the bed.

18. If it doesn’t feel right, most of the time it isn’t right. Follow your gut.

19. Get a library card. It will save you a lot of money and space in your house.

20. People who are happy with themselves don’t hurt others. People who do harm or are hurtful are very much broken people, because happy or content people don’t waste their time hurting others.

21. Don’t feed the beast. Some people are just absolute knobheads. Don't waste your time on them; it will only make them lash out more.

22. People can’t be bothered as much as you think they do. There is no need to shave your legs when you don’t want to because people won’t even notice. No need to worry for nights in a row about whether you said a silly thing, because people will forget.

23. You are worthy of existing without proving you are. You don’t need to work so hard to earn a ticket to be alive for another day.

24. There’s always light after darkness. Life will sometimes be incredibly hard and dark, but you will get through it and you are loved.

25. Don’t take your health for granted.

26. If someone asks you to do something in a few weeks or months, imagine that they ask you to do it tomorrow. If you don’t want to do it tomorrow, you will likely not want to do it many weeks from now. It might seem easy to say ‘yes’ if you have to do something in the future that you don’t want to do now, but future-you will not be happy about it.

27. Ask yourself often: Am I doing this out of fear or out of love? If it’s the first, then don’t do it.

28. Never refrain from making your boundaries clear to anyone. If someone gets upset with you because of it, they don’t respect you anyway.

29. Be who you truly are, always. It will attract the right people instead of the wrong people because you pretended to be someone else.

30. Buy an electric toothbrush asap. And don’t forget the back of your teeth.

31. You don’t fit in a standard box, and that’s okay. You will find your way in life and meet other sizes of boxes.

32. Not everybody is going to like you, and it’s useless to spend your time trying to prove them otherwise. That’s great because that way you can use that time for those who truly care about you.

33. Learn to say ‘no’. Loud and clear, so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself. Bonus: people actually don’t mind as much as you think when they hear ‘no’.

34. You can’t see where you’re going if you keep running. Stand still and take a breather. It gives you the space to recalibrate and refocus.

35. You don’t owe everyone your time and attention. Nor are you obligated to respond immediately.

36. Always keep communicating with others and don’t assume. It will be the foundation of great relations.

37. Don’t expect to get what you give. If you expect to get the same back what you have given to someone else, it’s not ‘giving’ but a transaction. Give because you want to give.

38. Don’t compare your journey to others. We don’t all get the same start in life, and some people don’t have to work as hard. Always take time to reflect on how far you’ve come and be proud of it.

39. Less doing, more being. Stop working so hard; it is not worth it, and it will make you sick. You will miss so much of life if you are not fully here to see it.

40. Starting today is better than not starting at all. It’s never too late, but in 20 years, you will wish you had started 20 years earlier. Every day is a bonus.